“Patriarchy. Those fucking guys keep me down. Down like the Lord who spread his arms for those heathens. Barrel of monkeys, all of them. Never thought one day I would be face to face with the people I hate so much. You dirty fucking bastards.”
The room quiet. The only thing making noise was the ticking grandfather clock in the room. Three men in suits were on one end of a mahogany table, and one woman on the other. She was dressed in a grey and black blouse, that was barely hanging off of her body. She had on a pair of tights, with her pink colored hair held up in a bun. She had doused her lips in a deep red lipstick, to the point that it was almost looked as if she was bleeding from her mouth.
“Mam, I do say that here at the General Mills corporation, we try our very best to present men and women equally in all our products.” responded the man in the middle of the suited party.
“Well, explain to me how you people, have never had a woman mascot for cereal. Girls eat cereal. Why are you trying to take down my people.” She reached down into her purse and pulled out a handfull of tampons and threw them on the table. The men shuttered at the display. “Are you scared now mother fuckers?”
She got up to the door and locked it and closed the blinds, just as a handfull of security guards on the other side ran towards the window of the office.
The man on the left in the suits stood up. He was very old, somewhere in his 70’s, with stray hairs coming from all different orifices of his face. “You can’t do this missy. I am a General. General Mills. This would be a war crime if you hurt us. Treason even.”
“I can do anything. I. AM. WOMAN.” She picked up three of the tampons and opened them and grabbed the slender dark man on the right, and pried open his jaw. The door was banging with the sounds of fists.
“YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THIS MA’M” came from outside the office. She looked at the door,
“STOP. STOP WITH THE PATRIARCHAL MONIKERS.” She looked back down on the man she had her hand in. “Now you get to feel how it is like to be penetrated.”
“No, I have a wife, and…” She cut him off, sticking the 3 heavy flow tampons down his throat clogging his esophogus.
“Of course you have a wife. Probably chain her up like you do figuratively with your name brand.”
The other two men stared in horror as the first man died choking on the elongated cotton. The man stopped resisting and flopped over in his chair. She kicked the chair over an laughed.The middle man stood up in protest, pushing his rolling chair back to the wall, and hammering his fists on the table.
“This is why we never let women get into our sights here at General Mills. TO MANY HORMONES. You can’t control your selves. God forbid one becomes president, this nation would be fighting 4 wars a month.”
She stared at him as he quit his rant. The man was breathing heavily. General Mills had a face that was frighted and perplexed by both people in the room now. She quietly reached to the table for her purse as the two men watched.
“Take a picture. It will last longer, Pigs.” She pulled out her nail filer. “You make me do this. Constantly looking good for you disgusting beasts. Can’t just take someone for what they are. Have to make them some SUPER model. Some Whore for you to eye FUCK.”
She sauntered behind the middle man and pulled on his forehead revealing his neck. Before he could react, blood was spilling from his throat. He fell to the ground gurgling blood. General MIlls was doused in hemoglobin. She walked slowly back to the table. and placed the bloody nail filer on it, and started searching her bag.
“MA’M, WE ARE GETTING A DOOR RAM. YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP.”
“I can never find anything in this damn bag. A bag the male patriarchy has forced me to have. God forbid a man hold his own things, or keep his own aspirin on his disgusting body.”
“Please, don’t do this. I… I… I’m gay.”
She stopped searching and looked up at General Mills, and shook her head.
“No, you aren’t. You are just trying to get on my good side. It doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t believe in gay people. Only Lesbians.” She pulled out a hair dryer. “Men force us to spend hours and hours on our morning appearance. And for WHAT YOU SAY? To look good. It disgusts me what lengths you have brain washed my people. I’m doing this for all woman kind.”
She pulled the hair dryer up like a hand gun and turned the switch to high. The beam from the dryer hit the General directly in the face, liquefying the man’s skin. The door blew open, and two men walked in. The woman was sitting on the table with her legs crossed, putting on lipstick.
“What. What did you do? DON’T MOVE.” said one of the Swat members.
“Men can’t tell me what to do.” She stood up and started moving her arms around awkwardly, in a very unappealing way. “Would you like to fuck this, you pig?” She spit at them, splattering on their jackets, only it wasn’t spit, it was blood. The men looked back up from their now soiled vests to see blood pouring from her mouth, as she collapsed to the ground, coughing up her insides.
The two men looked at each other and put on sunglasses. “It looks like it was her … time of the month”