endless chapters

Read the Preface first, and don't be afraid of the boners.

Cereal Killer

“Patriarchy. Those fucking guys keep me down. Down like the Lord who spread his arms for those heathens. Barrel of monkeys, all of them. Never thought one day I would be face to face with the people I hate so much. You dirty fucking bastards.”

The room quiet. The only thing making noise was the ticking grandfather clock in the room. Three men in suits were on one end of a mahogany table, and one woman on the other. She was dressed in a grey and black blouse, that was barely hanging off of her body. She had on a pair of tights, with her pink colored hair held up in a bun. She had doused her lips in a deep red lipstick, to the point that it was almost looked as if she was bleeding from her mouth.

“Mam, I do say that here at the General Mills corporation, we try our very best to present men and women equally in all our products.” responded the man in the middle of the suited party.

“Well, explain to me how you people, have never had a woman mascot for cereal. Girls eat cereal. Why are you trying to take down my people.” She reached down into her purse and pulled out a handfull of tampons and threw them on the table. The men shuttered at the display. “Are you scared now mother fuckers?”

She got up to the door and locked it and closed the blinds, just as a handfull of security guards on the other side ran towards the window of the office.

The man on the left in the suits stood up. He was very old, somewhere in his 70’s, with stray hairs coming from all different orifices of his face. “You can’t do this missy. I am a General. General Mills. This would be a war crime if you hurt us. Treason even.”  

“I can do anything. I. AM. WOMAN.” She picked up three of the tampons and opened them and grabbed the slender dark man on the right, and pried open his jaw. The door was banging with the sounds of fists. 

“YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THIS MA’M” came from outside the office. She looked at the door,

“STOP. STOP WITH THE PATRIARCHAL MONIKERS.” She looked back down on the man she had her hand in. “Now you get to feel how it is like to be penetrated.”

“No, I have a wife, and…” She cut him off, sticking the 3 heavy flow tampons down his throat clogging his esophogus. 

“Of course you have a wife. Probably chain her up like you do figuratively with your name brand.”

The other two men stared in horror as the first man died choking on the elongated cotton. The man stopped resisting and flopped over in his chair. She kicked the chair over an laughed.The middle man stood up in protest, pushing his rolling chair back to the wall, and hammering his fists on the table.

“This is why we never let women get into our sights here at General Mills. TO MANY HORMONES. You can’t control your selves. God forbid one becomes president, this nation would be fighting 4 wars a month.”

She stared at him as he quit his rant. The man was breathing heavily. General Mills had a face that was frighted and perplexed by both people in the room now. She quietly reached to the table for her purse as the two men watched.

“Take a picture. It will last longer, Pigs.” She pulled out her nail filer. “You make me do this. Constantly looking good for you disgusting beasts. Can’t just take someone for what they are. Have to make them some SUPER model. Some Whore for you to eye FUCK.”

She sauntered behind the middle man and pulled on his forehead revealing his neck. Before he could react, blood was spilling from his throat. He fell to the ground gurgling blood. General MIlls was doused in hemoglobin. She walked slowly back to the table. and placed the bloody nail filer on it, and started searching her bag.

“MA’M, WE ARE GETTING A DOOR RAM. YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS TO COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP.”

“I can never find anything in this damn bag. A bag the male patriarchy has forced me to have. God forbid a man hold his own things, or keep his own aspirin on his disgusting body.”

“Please, don’t do this. I… I… I’m gay.”

She stopped searching and looked up at General Mills, and shook her head. 

“No, you aren’t. You are just trying to get on my good side. It doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t believe in gay people. Only Lesbians.” She pulled out a hair dryer. “Men force us to spend hours and hours on our morning appearance. And for WHAT YOU SAY? To look good. It disgusts me what lengths you have brain washed my people. I’m doing this for all woman kind.”

She pulled the hair dryer up like a hand gun and turned the switch to high. The beam from the dryer hit the General directly in the face, liquefying the man’s skin. The door blew open, and two men walked in. The woman was sitting on the table with her legs crossed, putting on lipstick.

“What. What did you do? DON’T MOVE.” said one of the Swat members.

“Men can’t tell me what to do.” She stood up and started moving her arms around awkwardly, in a very unappealing way. “Would you like to fuck this, you pig?” She spit at them, splattering on their jackets, only it wasn’t spit, it was blood. The men looked back up from their now soiled vests to see blood pouring from her mouth, as she collapsed to the ground, coughing up her insides.

The two men looked at each other and put on sunglasses. “It looks like it was her … time of the month” 

 

YEAHHHHHHHH!H!H!H!!!!

Stalling

I’m stalling so I don’t have to do my homework…..i’m so lazy and so bored.

@LilDeVille_15

“… GOING TO KILL COKE. YOU DO REALIZE IT’S TIME FOR THAT NOW, RIGHT?”

The car was entirely dark. Mary Lynn could hear the car climbing upward through the Earth’s crust.

“Oh, yeah.”

“SORRY. I just, haven’t slept for like 27 hours. I’m gonna be angry all day. Better prepare for it. And if we fucking hit traffic.”

Light began to enter the car. Mary Lynn looked up through the sun roof and could see a pinpoint of light growing in size.

“I swear to God, if we fucking hit traffic.”

The car flooded with light and the movement stopped. They were in a forrest. The Miada was pointed down a gravel road. Merv turned the key, and the engine came to life. Puttering, pitiful life. The life only a Miada could produce. Barely functional under perfect conditions. Like a baby birthed at 34 weeks.

“Alright. I need to get into character since we’re going back to the city.”

Merv plugged his phone into the radio.

“Atlanta mix,” Merv told the dash.

“Playing, Atlanta mix”

The dashboard interface read “Searching…”

“THEY ASK ME WHAT I DO AND WHAT I DO IT FO’, AND HOW I COME UP WITH SHIT UP IN THE STUDIO. ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HO, ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HO.”

Merv put the clutch in first, and stepped on the gas.  Read the rest of this entry »

Surfacing

“Enough with the irrelevance surfacing into my very relevant life.”

-@xNAisa

“The crowd applause sign goes on. YOU. SHOOT. Understand?”

Merv stared at Mary Lynn like a man who had just spent 24 hours awake in a rice paddy during monsoon season with Vietcong littering his surroundings.

“Yes. Applause sign goes on. Switch to gun and fire at Rick Coke. Switch back and stand up and applaud.”

“In, the FIFTH act.”

“In the fifth act.”

Merv sighed. “Good.” He turned around and walked back to the hologram. Peter had long since gone to bed. It was difficult to tell time underground with the lighting in the bunker. The lights were on 24/7. Mary Lynn, too, was tired, and a little bit loopy. Cans of Vanilla Dr. Pepper strewn about her. Some still standing, and some casualties of Merv’s frustration, and crushed. She noticed the backpack over in the corner of the room that Merv a gotten from the supply closet.

“What’s in the backpack?”

Merv continued staring at the hologram. “Um, just materials for the trip. You probably won’t use them, unless we are truly fucked.” Merv lifted his head. “The wrist band though, well, let me show you.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Pregame

Rock II pregame movie

-@Nolcat_SP

Mary Lynn and Merv left the situation room and headed right. She could barely keep step with his fast pace.

“This brief should be brief. He does his last show tomorrow evening before he goes on the cruise,” Merv said hastily, “We need to gather some supplies.”

“Okay.”

Merv was now 4 steps ahead of her.

“We won’t have much in terms of protection like I told you. I can’t be there with you. He strictly rejects African Americans from the premises. He also has the name of every person Dr. Pepper has hired. Luckily, you are too young to be formally employed, so you aren’t on the list. Undetectable”

“Oh, okay.”

Merv dipped left towards a door that opened up in front of him. Mary Lynn jogged to catch up just before the doors closed. There were three rafters of various supplies stretching the long room. On her right side, firearms of all kinds. On her left, was what appeared to be a bunch on nondescript technology. In the middle, a bunch of water balloons. She went to grab one. It felt like the breast implant her doctor had advised her to get for her 10th birthday.

“Don’t touch those. Those are full of napalm. Pop it and we all die. It will set off all these balloons.”

“Everyone?”

“Well, in this room, and probably the two adjoining. The rest would probably either not feel it or take limited shrapnel.”

“Okay.”

She put down the balloon. Merv walked down the left aisle and started looking at the assortment of gadgets.  Read the rest of this entry »

Schematics

Red Alert,you showed me the-you showed me the ship’s schematics and-the sparkeater’s “cell” is at the lowest point of the ship. (#5)

-@rung_mtmte_bot

The doors to the situation room opened. There was the hologram in the middle with a average height dark skinned man in the middle of the room playing with the hologram.

“MERVY, MY BOY”

“Dr. Pepper. Loud as usual I see. And still trying to seem cool in front of the black guy.”

“YOU MEAN AFRICAN AMERICAN. YOU SEE. I’VE GOT ALL THIS NEGRO STUFF DOWN TO A TEE.”

“Sure. So, is this the girl. Agent 1050?”

Peter walked over to Merv and shook his hand.

“Sure is Merv.” he said, and then leaned up to his hear, “She’s 15 or something, so watch out. No sex. Know what I mean?”

“Uh, yeah. I don’t date white girls anyways.”

“WOAH, WHO’S THE BIGGOT NOW BLACKY?”

“I swear to God, If you didn’t pay me so much…”

“LET ME FINISH THAT SENTENCE FOR YOU. YOU’D FIND YOURSELF IN J”

“Jamaica. Shit. That’s racist too. Tried to stop him Merv,” said Peter.

“JAIL. CAN’T STOP OLE DOC P. I’M A WHOLE DEGREE AHEAD OF MASTER P. I WENT THROUGH MY MASTERS AND FINISHED UP MY DOCTORATE. NOW I’M DOCTOR P. AND MY CHILD WOULD HAVE BEEN NAMED LIL MEOW MEOW. BECAUSE CAT’S ARE WHAT DOCTORS AND INTELLECTUALS HAVE.”

“I think he needs some food.” Peter said as he walked out of the room, the automatic doors closing behind him.

Read the rest of this entry »

Coordination

Excelling at scrubs/snacks color coordination. http://instagram.com/p/XvjDrCSexs/ 

–@larainebrotista

“Alright. That’s every Steven Spielberg directed movie since 1975, and then Jurassic Park twice”

“I’m getting good at this I think.”

“THAT’S WHY WE HAVE DINOSAURS TWICE. CAN’T RISK YOU NOT HOLDING YOUR OWN AGAINST GIANT REPTLES.”

“Still don’t know why we have to do Schindler’s List. That just get’s depressing.” Peter spun around from the monitor. “I know they’re fake, but that always makes me feel like a Gestapo in the Third Reich.”

“YOU GOTTA KILL SOME JEWS TO SAVE SOME JEWS. JEWS OF ATLANTA. BEING OPPRESSED BY COKE.”

“It wasn’t so bad.” Mary Lynn touched her shoulder and the gun morphed back to her arm. “Killing that army horse was pretty sad.”

“Yeah, War Horse is pretty sad to kill.”

“NOT IF YOU’RE A MEAT GRINDER AT IKEA.”

“Let’s get out of here. I’m pretty sure that thing gives off radiation that could poison us if we hang out too long.”

The group, Dr. Pepper, Mary Lynn, Peter and the two henchmen, left the room and turned down the hallway.

“I figure we need to get ahold of Merv. I think we’ll need his help on this mission,” said Dr. Pepper. “I’m not sure she should enter Atlanta all on her own. Even with THAT KICKASS SIDE ARM.”

“Probably right. I’ll give him a text.” Peter pulled out a can of Dr. Pepper and opened the tab. The can split in half, folding open into a tablet.

“Now, we need to get you in your uniform. Everyone around here has one, and you should too. Granted, I don’t think we’ve had to make one for a girl in a while. Might have a boys small somewhere. LIKE GRANT’S PANZY ASS UNIFORM, AM I RIGHT TREVOR?”

The two henchmen looked at the Dr. and smiled nervously.

“Let’s take a right here.” Read the rest of this entry »

Preparation

Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity~ Ophrah Winfrey

-@ElizbethLManess

Mary Lynn looked at her legs expecting a large rifle to be at the end of her torso. She saw only human leg, and sighed.

“How do you feel?”

“Not terrible. I’m just glad I don’t have a gun attatched to my body. I had this crazy dre…”

“Uh, Mary Lynn. I’m going to have to stop you right there. Try pointing at your leg with your right arm.”

She did, and instead of the usual flesh colored arm with a pink ring featuring a little butterfly, she saw hunk of metal appear out of her periphal. As it entered her eyesight she saw the end of a barrel pointing down towards her leg.

“WHAT THE…?”

“YOU’VE BETTER FINISH THAT SENTANCE IF YOU WANT TO BE MY SUPER HIT GIRL GODAMMIT.” Belched from the doorway.

“FUCK. Dr. Pepper. Why’d you do this to me?”

“I explicitly told you earlier I was giving you a metal arm.”

“Oh yeah. I just had a bad dream. I’m still a little shaken up.”

“Yeah you did,” said Peter “You said something about a coke machine or something. It was hard to decipher what you were saying, since I was sawing into your bone at the time.”

Dr. Pepper entered the room entirely.

“You haven’t changed your mind have you M.L.  If you’ll remember, I PUT A CUBIC MEGA OUNCE OF MONEY INTO THIS PROJECT.”

“I can do it. It was a dream. I can get over it. I’m a grown woman.”

The room filled with laughter, lead raucously by Dr. Pepper.

“But I am.”

“HONEY, YOU’RE AS MUCH A WOMAN AS I AM A GUY WHO FANCIES THE PENIS IN HIS MOUTH. AND LET ME TELL YA. I DON’T LIKE PASTEL COLORS.”

The room resumed echoing laughter.

“Alright, let’s get you out of this bed.” Read the rest of this entry »

Hallucinogens

like that has to be by far the scariest drug I’ve been familiarized with. son coke LSD & other hallucinogens. nahhhhhh

-‏@JennIsLovex3

“Hello little girl. We’ve been wating for you. We have your man. Look over there.”

The demon looking woman with straight dark hair pointed to a cage hanging in the distance. It was a bird cage. She looked back. Her eyes were yellow, and her teeth were snakes. Her skin was pale, and loosely hung across her small frame. She was wearing nothing.

“We’ve got a special spot for you Mary Lynn. Bwahahaha.” the demon chuckled.

Mary Lynn looked to the left. She was standing next to the edge of a cliff of a plateau. The sky was red and cloudy, with the occasional strike of lighting. She leaned her head over the cliff an saw an endless black ocean with creatures heads and tentacles randomly surfacing. She felt a push from behind. Time seemed to creep as Mary Lynn’s heart lept from her chest. She could barely see the cliff now. Suddenly, she was pulled back onto the cliff. She fell down on the ground and heavily exhaled. Read the rest of this entry »

Endurance

James1:2 – When troubles come ur way, consider it an opportunity. For u know that when ur faith is tested, ur endurance has a chance 2grow.

-‏@TamiRoman

 

The door of the maroon SUV opened into a brightly lit all white cave. Not a thing was on the walls. The mass of people from the SUV began to walk towards the end of the cave the seemed like it went on forever. After a few minutes, the group reached a wall in the cave, that was also white, but unlike the other walls, had a small box on it.

“Password, Please,” the box said.

“PSSSSST. Ahhh, Refreshing”

“Access Granted. 23 flavors of locks now opening.”

A series of clicks and bangs rang from the wall. After a few seconds the final click echoed  through the hall. A large crease formed in the once impermeable wall and creaked open.

“Holy shit that is cool,” exclaimed Mary Lynn. Read the rest of this entry »

Animosity

Sometimes I don’t like hearing about show bookings and stuff because it seems like it fuels more animosity between locals than anything else

@Brittblitz

The humidity hit Mary Lynn the second the invisible doors opened. Her hair seemed to almost curl on instant. The helipad they landed on was just outside of town. She could see the skyline of Atlanta in the distance. Next to her stood Dr. Pepper, still in his trademark all white suit. He stared out at the view.

“This town is full of heathens and misfits. It’s corporation at its worst. Coke is an embarrassment to the American dream. I need to tell you a story M.L.” he said as we walked out infront of her.

“Okay.”

“It didn’t used to be like this. Me and Rick Coke were best buds at Fizzy Drink University. FDU was great for both of us. We got our start there. We were roommates for the first three years. We both worked on developing our own line of drink together. This was well before all the drinks you know today. Back then it was water and soda water. We were going to be pioneers together. Live next to each other and grow old in our huge Soda-Pop funded mansions. Share mistresses, and all the glamour and glitz that comes with being best friends of a multi-billion dollar corporation.”

“What happened,” Read the rest of this entry »

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