Stalling

I’m stalling so I don’t have to do my homework…..i’m so lazy and so bored.

@LilDeVille_15

“… GOING TO KILL COKE. YOU DO REALIZE IT’S TIME FOR THAT NOW, RIGHT?”

The car was entirely dark. Mary Lynn could hear the car climbing upward through the Earth’s crust.

“Oh, yeah.”

“SORRY. I just, haven’t slept for like 27 hours. I’m gonna be angry all day. Better prepare for it. And if we fucking hit traffic.”

Light began to enter the car. Mary Lynn looked up through the sun roof and could see a pinpoint of light growing in size.

“I swear to God, if we fucking hit traffic.”

The car flooded with light and the movement stopped. They were in a forrest. The Miada was pointed down a gravel road. Merv turned the key, and the engine came to life. Puttering, pitiful life. The life only a Miada could produce. Barely functional under perfect conditions. Like a baby birthed at 34 weeks.

“Alright. I need to get into character since we’re going back to the city.”

Merv plugged his phone into the radio.

“Atlanta mix,” Merv told the dash.

“Playing, Atlanta mix”

The dashboard interface read “Searching…”

“THEY ASK ME WHAT I DO AND WHAT I DO IT FO’, AND HOW I COME UP WITH SHIT UP IN THE STUDIO. ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HO, ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY IS A BIG BOOTY HO.”

Merv put the clutch in first, and stepped on the gas. 

Surfacing

“Enough with the irrelevance surfacing into my very relevant life.”

-@xNAisa

“The crowd applause sign goes on. YOU. SHOOT. Understand?”

Merv stared at Mary Lynn like a man who had just spent 24 hours awake in a rice paddy during monsoon season with Vietcong littering his surroundings.

“Yes. Applause sign goes on. Switch to gun and fire at Rick Coke. Switch back and stand up and applaud.”

“In, the FIFTH act.”

“In the fifth act.”

Merv sighed. “Good.” He turned around and walked back to the hologram. Peter had long since gone to bed. It was difficult to tell time underground with the lighting in the bunker. The lights were on 24/7. Mary Lynn, too, was tired, and a little bit loopy. Cans of Vanilla Dr. Pepper strewn about her. Some still standing, and some casualties of Merv’s frustration, and crushed. She noticed the backpack over in the corner of the room that Merv a gotten from the supply closet.

“What’s in the backpack?”

Merv continued staring at the hologram. “Um, just materials for the trip. You probably won’t use them, unless we are truly fucked.” Merv lifted his head. “The wrist band though, well, let me show you.”

Pregame

Rock II pregame movie

-@Nolcat_SP

Mary Lynn and Merv left the situation room and headed right. She could barely keep step with his fast pace.

“This brief should be brief. He does his last show tomorrow evening before he goes on the cruise,” Merv said hastily, “We need to gather some supplies.”

“Okay.”

Merv was now 4 steps ahead of her.

“We won’t have much in terms of protection like I told you. I can’t be there with you. He strictly rejects African Americans from the premises. He also has the name of every person Dr. Pepper has hired. Luckily, you are too young to be formally employed, so you aren’t on the list. Undetectable”

“Oh, okay.”

Merv dipped left towards a door that opened up in front of him. Mary Lynn jogged to catch up just before the doors closed. There were three rafters of various supplies stretching the long room. On her right side, firearms of all kinds. On her left, was what appeared to be a bunch on nondescript technology. In the middle, a bunch of water balloons. She went to grab one. It felt like the breast implant her doctor had advised her to get for her 10th birthday.

“Don’t touch those. Those are full of napalm. Pop it and we all die. It will set off all these balloons.”

“Everyone?”

“Well, in this room, and probably the two adjoining. The rest would probably either not feel it or take limited shrapnel.”

“Okay.”

She put down the balloon. Merv walked down the left aisle and started looking at the assortment of gadgets. 

Schematics

Red Alert,you showed me the-you showed me the ship’s schematics and-the sparkeater’s “cell” is at the lowest point of the ship. (#5)

-@rung_mtmte_bot

The doors to the situation room opened. There was the hologram in the middle with a average height dark skinned man in the middle of the room playing with the hologram.

“MERVY, MY BOY”

“Dr. Pepper. Loud as usual I see. And still trying to seem cool in front of the black guy.”

“YOU MEAN AFRICAN AMERICAN. YOU SEE. I’VE GOT ALL THIS NEGRO STUFF DOWN TO A TEE.”

“Sure. So, is this the girl. Agent 1050?”

Peter walked over to Merv and shook his hand.

“Sure is Merv.” he said, and then leaned up to his hear, “She’s 15 or something, so watch out. No sex. Know what I mean?”

“Uh, yeah. I don’t date white girls anyways.”

“WOAH, WHO’S THE BIGGOT NOW BLACKY?”

“I swear to God, If you didn’t pay me so much…”

“LET ME FINISH THAT SENTENCE FOR YOU. YOU’D FIND YOURSELF IN J”

“Jamaica. Shit. That’s racist too. Tried to stop him Merv,” said Peter.

“JAIL. CAN’T STOP OLE DOC P. I’M A WHOLE DEGREE AHEAD OF MASTER P. I WENT THROUGH MY MASTERS AND FINISHED UP MY DOCTORATE. NOW I’M DOCTOR P. AND MY CHILD WOULD HAVE BEEN NAMED LIL MEOW MEOW. BECAUSE CAT’S ARE WHAT DOCTORS AND INTELLECTUALS HAVE.”

“I think he needs some food.” Peter said as he walked out of the room, the automatic doors closing behind him.

Coordination

Excelling at scrubs/snacks color coordination. http://instagram.com/p/XvjDrCSexs/ 

–@larainebrotista

“Alright. That’s every Steven Spielberg directed movie since 1975, and then Jurassic Park twice”

“I’m getting good at this I think.”

“THAT’S WHY WE HAVE DINOSAURS TWICE. CAN’T RISK YOU NOT HOLDING YOUR OWN AGAINST GIANT REPTLES.”

“Still don’t know why we have to do Schindler’s List. That just get’s depressing.” Peter spun around from the monitor. “I know they’re fake, but that always makes me feel like a Gestapo in the Third Reich.”

“YOU GOTTA KILL SOME JEWS TO SAVE SOME JEWS. JEWS OF ATLANTA. BEING OPPRESSED BY COKE.”

“It wasn’t so bad.” Mary Lynn touched her shoulder and the gun morphed back to her arm. “Killing that army horse was pretty sad.”

“Yeah, War Horse is pretty sad to kill.”

“NOT IF YOU’RE A MEAT GRINDER AT IKEA.”

“Let’s get out of here. I’m pretty sure that thing gives off radiation that could poison us if we hang out too long.”

The group, Dr. Pepper, Mary Lynn, Peter and the two henchmen, left the room and turned down the hallway.

“I figure we need to get ahold of Merv. I think we’ll need his help on this mission,” said Dr. Pepper. “I’m not sure she should enter Atlanta all on her own. Even with THAT KICKASS SIDE ARM.”

“Probably right. I’ll give him a text.” Peter pulled out a can of Dr. Pepper and opened the tab. The can split in half, folding open into a tablet.

“Now, we need to get you in your uniform. Everyone around here has one, and you should too. Granted, I don’t think we’ve had to make one for a girl in a while. Might have a boys small somewhere. LIKE GRANT’S PANZY ASS UNIFORM, AM I RIGHT TREVOR?”

The two henchmen looked at the Dr. and smiled nervously.

“Let’s take a right here.”

Preparation

Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity~ Ophrah Winfrey

–@ElizbethLManess

Mary Lynn looked at her legs expecting a large rifle to be at the end of her torso. She saw only human leg, and sighed.

“How do you feel?”

“Not terrible. I’m just glad I don’t have a gun attatched to my body. I had this crazy dre…”

“Uh, Mary Lynn. I’m going to have to stop you right there. Try pointing at your leg with your right arm.”

She did, and instead of the usual flesh colored arm with a pink ring featuring a little butterfly, she saw hunk of metal appear out of her periphal. As it entered her eyesight she saw the end of a barrel pointing down towards her leg.

“WHAT THE…?”

“YOU’VE BETTER FINISH THAT SENTANCE IF YOU WANT TO BE MY SUPER HIT GIRL GODAMMIT.” Belched from the doorway.

“FUCK. Dr. Pepper. Why’d you do this to me?”

“I explicitly told you earlier I was giving you a metal arm.”

“Oh yeah. I just had a bad dream. I’m still a little shaken up.”

“Yeah you did,” said Peter “You said something about a coke machine or something. It was hard to decipher what you were saying, since I was sawing into your bone at the time.”

Dr. Pepper entered the room entirely.

“You haven’t changed your mind have you M.L.  If you’ll remember, I PUT A CUBIC MEGA OUNCE OF MONEY INTO THIS PROJECT.”

“I can do it. It was a dream. I can get over it. I’m a grown woman.”

The room filled with laughter, lead raucously by Dr. Pepper.

“But I am.”

“HONEY, YOU’RE AS MUCH A WOMAN AS I AM A GUY WHO FANCIES THE PENIS IN HIS MOUTH. AND LET ME TELL YA. I DON’T LIKE PASTEL COLORS.”

The room resumed echoing laughter.

“Alright, let’s get you out of this bed.”